


The fear of love

by whtvr



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Boyfriends, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Love, M/M, Soulmates, robron - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-22
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-05-28 07:24:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6319990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whtvr/pseuds/whtvr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robert and Aaron speak about their relationship and how the future can be for them. In the process they start to trust each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The fear of love (I)

**Author's Note:**

> It started as a short scene and now added a new chapter.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A scene were Robert is trying to be alone with Aaron after Gordon's hearing and the boys end up realizing how much they mean to each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it is a bit of a repetitive theme, but lately these are the scenes i'd hope to see in Emmerdale. Feel free to comment if you like.

It’s been ages since Robert had been able to get alone with Aaron. Every time he tried to talk to him alone Chaz was watching them like a hawk in the pub or Adam kept interrupting any chance of an actual conversation rushing Aaron to some scrap pick up or even Vic, who he thought wanted them to be together, kept going on with small talk and gossips from everyone in the village.

Today Robert wouldn’t let anyone get in the way of getting Aaron alone in the scrap. All he wanted to know was how Aaron was doing after the trial hearing. 

He arrived in the scrap early to be sure he would get Adam alone so send him to some bogus pick up. That would buy him at least an hour before coming back, pissed off. He convinced Adam that he had to be there early. He would go with him, he added to the story, but he had a meeting in 15 minute to go to so he couldn’t. Adam said he would wait for Aaron, but Robert rushed him out thinking he was already late and if he didn’t go now the bloke would sell to someone else.

 

\- Fine! I’ll go. Just tell Aaron where I’m at.

 

\- Tell him yourself, I’m on my way out now. And so should you! Come on! You can call him when you get there. We wouldn’t want anyone beat you to the punch.

 

Robert played along and went to his car while he watched Adam drive off. He sat a few minutes in the car making sure Adam was far, and went into the cabin to wait for Aaron.

 

Aaron arrived to the scrap moments after. He looked around soon to recognize Robert’s car. He stopped in the front of the cabin and thought of going back home. He wasn’t in the mood to talk about anything, only to smash some cars up letting his mind go free of his problems.

Robert opened the door to the cabin and greeted Aaron who stood there not acknowledging his presence.

He looked at Aaron and he looked pale and down. He clearly didn't have a good sleep last night and got worried that he had done something to himself again. 

 

\- Are you alright?

 

\- Yeah.. Fine. - Aaron replied looking at the pebbles in the ground, not convincing anyone or himself that he was.

 

\- Aaron. - Robert insisted calling out his name trying to make him look back at Robert.

 

Aaron eyes never met his. His hands kept playing with the keys forcing him to focus on them and not to look at Robert.

Robert step down the cabin and approached him slowly awaiting his reaction.

Aaron’s feet didn’t move. He wanted them to back a few steps to show Robert he wanted space, but somehow he wasn’t moving.

Robert stood in front of him, waiting for a response. Any kind of response, any hesitation that Aaron didn’t wanted him to be there and he would respect his wishes and he’d be gone.

Neither of them moved. 

 

Robert waited. Aaron’s eyes started to fill with darkness and pain and he bursted out in tears leaning his head in Robert’s chest, never looking up, ashamed of his pain and of his fragile state. He hated himself not being able to cope with all of it, he hated not being able to pretend to Robert that everything was fine, like he did with everyone else.

 

\- I can’t do this. I’m too weak. - Aaron’s voice was broken, just like his body was in front of Robert.

 

Robert held him in his arms while the tears were rushing down Aaron’s face, soaking his blue dotted designer shirt.  Robert let him get it all out. Aaron needed this. A moment where he could just be a fragile human being looking for protection. He needed someone just to be there while he fought his ghosts. Not to be left alone with his thoughts and scars. Aaron needed someone to see him like the scared little boy he was all those years back, all alone without anyone to protect him from his father.

 

Aaron clenched the keys in his hand, not really wanting to feel the pain. It was almost an unconscious reflex of all the times he wanted to be in control. Robert took his hands and replaced the keys with his left hand while placing his other hand in the back of Aaron’s neck.

 

\- You don't need to do this ever again, you hear me? - Robert whispered gently while resting his forehead into Aaron’s. - I’m always here, whenever you need to.

 

Aarons felt the warmth of Robert hand and squeezed it, trying to forget the feeling of panic in his head.

 

\- Why? - Aaron cried while fighting to meet Robert’s eyes. - Why are you still here? After all I did to you? After all I made you loose… I don't deserve it. I’ll always be this… this damaged.

 

\- Hey, look at me.

 

Robert waited for Aaron to meet his eyes while pressing gently on his neck.

 

\- Look at me! I don't believe I fell for a quitter, remember?

 

Robert repeated the words from what seemed a distant memory, this time not by accident like last time. This time they were the reflection of his love for Aaron.

Aaron's eyes were now focused on Roberts. He didn’t wanted to believe the words but they made him strong again.

 

\- Yeah? - Aaron, asked out loud not controlling what his mind was thinking, wiping away the tears with his sleeves.

 

Robert kept his forehead against Aaron’s, almost crying himself with a desperate laugh in his voice.

 

\- Yeah. Look at me! I’m a mess... I can’t stand seeing you hurting like this. Every time I see you like this I want to exchange places with you and be the one who’s suffering. 

 

\- Maybe you should just get out of this while you still can. - Aaron said while calming himself down, trying to control his breathing and finding the courage to push Robert out.

 

\- I CAN’T… I can't… I wish… I wish I knew how to let you go, but I can’t... - Robert was now the one sobbing uncontrollably with tears running free through his face. - Don't you see? I'm the one who's weak, I'm the one who can't stop loving you!

 

Aaron didn't knew how to react when hearing the words out of Robert. The man in front of him was now the one fragile and exposed. The man he had always known to be in control of everything. The man he loved and who was now suffering and trying to get a hold on himself. How could someone like Robert, couldn't stop love someone like him. Aaron realised that a few months back when Robert got shot, he had the same feeling of uncontrollable love for him.

 

\- And I would have you back in a shot… I… I can’t stop love you either. - Aaron let the words escape from his mouth recognizing the feeling.

Aaron’s words were blunt but clear. This time both men glanced at each other with a sense of clarity and relief. The two grown men had finally faced some of their demons and fears together.

 

Robert, turned his back on Aaron ashamed of his fragile state, wiping away the tears.

 

\- Whoa! This didn't happened how I had planned. I sent Adam away on a bogus trip to nowhere, just to catch you alone. I had coffee and all in the cabin for us. I was going to try to make small talk and ease my way onto knowing how you were.

 

\- You know, I could use some of that coffee right about now. - Aaron said grinning and putting hand in Robert’s back, making its way around his shoulder. - And by the looks of it, so do you.

 

\- Yeah well, I don’t think I can say no to that right now. - Robert said entering the cabin.

  
\- Well, looks like you're stuck with me, then.


	2. The fear of love (II)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of the conversation between Robert and Aaron in the scrap yard. See chaptet I.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate all the kudos and comments. They encouraged me to add another chapter to the conversation. No sure if i will find the inspiration to add more, but I hope you enjoy. Please, leave comments if you want to (any comments, really :)).

\- Urg! That is some really horrible coffee. Remember me never to accept an invitation for coffee at your place.

\- Well, you realise I haven’t actually invited you. - Robert shot back following Aaron’s banter.

\- You haven't actually invited me YET. That's what you wanted to say.

\- Who said I wanted to? - Robert immediately regretted saying those words even if he got carried away in the banter exchange of words.

Aaron looked down at his cup and changed the grin to a serious face.

\- You really meant what you said earlier? About, you know…

\- Why? You know I did. I said it before.- Robert looked at Aaron afraid that he wouldn’t take him seriously.

\- Yeah, but I'm not sure you really know what you want. You still not accepting that you're gay… or bi. I don't think you have it clear what to count on with you. - Aaron said still fixing on his cup between his hands, resisting the need for visual confirmation.

Robert left his chair from across the cabin and slowly dropped at Aaron’s eye level, making sure he was being heard. 

\- I want you, Aaron. Isn't that enough?

\- Robert…

Aaron said sitting up in the chair resting his elbows on his knees and holding the cup with two hands, looking deeply on Robert’s eyes in front of him.

\- You really want that? With all that has happened with us I don't think we’re right for each other. When we are alone, yeah it works, but imagine it with everyone around the village talking about us. And then there's Katie death, you trying to kill Paddy, me ambushing you at the lodge, you tying me up leading to Paddy getting shot and finally me outing you to Chrissie. I’m scared it will never stop. There's too many secrets. Too many things we are not telling each other. We don't trust each other and I surely don't trust myself when it comes to not keeping secrets, with the whole cutting… we're just not good for each other.

\- But I trust you.  
Robert leaned forward trying to eliminate the distance between them

\- All of those things were down to me. I’m to blame because I didn't want to fully accept my feelings for you. It’s different now. Chrissie is gone now.

\- You loved Chrissie too, remember? - Aaron said in his low but calm voice, now looking down at his cup again. - That didn't stopped you to fake a robbery at her house, kidnapping her father and even have sex with me? All in her back. I don't want to start it all over again. I’m starting to come to terms with myself after a lifetime of denial and hiding what my father did to me. Why would it work now? - That last sentence was fired at Robert’s with his eyes also staring at him awaiting for the response.

\- Aaron, I know I did some stupid stuff in the past and I will probably keep making stupid decisions, but I know what I want now. I know who I am now. And I want to show you that that wasn't really me. Yeah, sure I loved the idea of the life I could have with Chrissie. I was fooling myself thinking I could just… live my life as a lie. Pretending to everyone that I was some big deal with all the power and money... The truth is… I just wanted to prove to everyone I was better than anyone else.

Robert was baring all out for Aaron. He couldn’t believe how easy was to admit to him and himself he was not proud of who he became.

\- You're telling me that money doesn't mean anything to you now? That the feeling of being better than everyone will just go away and everything will be fine. I don't believe that. I don't believe you want that.

Sadness was now filling Aaron’s expression. He wanted all to be true, he wanted to believe in him, but somehow he couldn't.

\- I still want to make something of my life if that is what you're saying...

\- As opposed to me… a low life scraper with nothing to offer you but grief. 

Aarons completed the sentence looking down again at his cup, as if it could console his feeling of not being enough for Robert. Aaron wasn't asking, he was realising he had nothing to offer to Robert.

\- I didn't mean it like that and you know it. Yeah, the situation is different now but I am happy for us to give it a try and make things better for us. Who knows if we end up being rich and buying Home Farm.

\- See? - Aaron Jumped at Robert’s words, looking at him disappointed. That wasn’t the words he wanted Robert to say. - You still want that, to be better than anyone. You’ll always want that. The ambition to be someone else and show them how you finally did it. But I'm happy how things are here in the scrap yard with Adam. I don't have any dreams of being the richest bloke in the Emmerdale. 

\- Aaron, I just want us. I don't care anymore about money or Homefarm. Can't you see that?

\- Yeah, because you don't have anywhere or anyone else to go to.- Aaron’s eyes focused down at his cup again.

\- Please Aaron, don't say that. I'm here ain't I? I've been working here in the scrap business just to be with you, remember. You can at least give me that.

\- Yeah, but are you still going to be working here when you finally settle the big money from your divorce?

The question triggered an angry expression and Robert immediately changed to defense mode. Robert broke the contact from Aaron arm and stood up almost giving up, letting the air get out of his lungs violently.

\- I deserve that from all the work I did for that company! I’m just being paid from what I worked for!  
Besides, I’m not asking anything she doesn’t agree on her own. I’m not forcing anything out of her.

\- You don't get it, do you? I'm talking about a divorce and you're talking about it like a business transaction. - Aaron’s was getting even more disappointed in the way the conversation was heading.

\- Do you want me to give it all up? To make a grand gesture of how much I love you? That's not fair!

Robert fired back at Aaron, not fully aware of what the “Robert default setting” could do for them at the moment.

\- I'm not asking you to do anything for me! - Aaron stood up almost yelling at Robert. You don’t get it and you never will, I’m just showing how different we both are and how this will never work out between us. We want different things! I want to be left alone and you want to conquer the world!

Robert, flew at Aarons at those words and grabbed him by his shoulders.

\- I want to conquer the world with you, Aaron. With you! We just haven't decided what that means for us yet. Isn't it what we're doing here? Trying to figure out what's next?

Robert eyes kept looking for Aaron’s with his head slightly tilted to side and looking for confirmations that it was what he wanted too. 

\- You and me against the world… - Aaron said with a silent gasp between his lips. - I still don't know you enough to tell if that's what you really want or if it is just you saying that to get me into bed again.

\- I remember a time when you were willing to do anything too to be in bed with me.- Robert said grinning again looking for a sign of confidence in Aaron’s face.

\- Because I was playing your game or whatever you would call it. When I realised that… that I had some sort of feelings for you, I had to play your game if I wanted to be with you at all. Anyway I could, even if it meant just having sex in a barn somewhere. Do you see how pathetic this sound?

Aaron’s voice broke and sounded even more desperate. He knew he could never let him go. And he was still scared for that.

\- I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you or even make you feltl like you didn't matter. I just couldn't see how much you meant to me. Honestly.

Aaron, lowered his cup to the table beside his chair, forcing Robert to drop his hands from his shoulders.

\- You know Robert, I realised some time ago, when I was with Jackson, that you can fool yourself as long as you want to if you're willing to forget who you really are. When you reach that point where you hide everything from everyone and even from yourself, you end up not being you anymore. You just keep living because you are supposed to do what everyone thinks of you and not what you really want to do. I don't think you know who you are anymore. Can you even tell me?

Robert looked at Aaron realising that some of it was true. He had somewhat forgotten the reason he left Emmerdale all those year ago. It all started because he didn't want to be someone he wasn't. He didn't want to be what his father wanted him to be. He turn his back at Aaron and dropped to sit to his chair again on his side of the cabin.

\- You're right. You're right! - Robert, admitted knowing he had to lay it all on the table if he wanted to have Aaron back. - I forgot who I was on my way to be different from my family and my father. When I left this place I wanted to be the man I could be on my own. Not who they wanted me to be.

Roberts eyes filled with regret and sadness. Robert didn’t need the cup to focus down and not to look at Aaron.

\- And in my way I left behind some part of myself. And I know that now. You made me realise that. You are the reason I'm willing to try to find myself again. And I think I already took the first steps, but I need you to remember me over and over again that I can be the person I wanted to be, not that smug guy you met some time ago that kept pretending he didn't love you.

The door of the cabin opened up furiously, showing Adam back from his bogus trip.

\- There was never a pick up, was there? You just sent me on a wild goose chase so you could take advantage and be alone with Aaron. Admit it Robert.

Robert wasn’t able to respond or fire back some snarky comment and simply apologized, trying not to give away the tears that were starting to grow in his eyes.

\- I'm sorry Adam, I needed to talk to Aaron and I knew you if you were here I would never have the chance. I'll leave now.

Robert, stood up preparing to go out admitting he lost his chance.

\- No Robert, wait. We haven't finished this yet.- Aaron, stood in Robert’s way calming him placing his right hand in his arm, forgetting Adam was there, only focusing on Robert presence.

\- What? You still want to stay here with him after all he did to you?

\- Adam!

Aaron turned his body slightly to Adam, never leaving his hand from Robert's arm and gesturing at Adam. 

\- We're just talking. Go on, I'll meet you at the pub for dinner after this.

Aaron said while looking back at Robert.

\- Are you serious? No way I'm leaving you alone with him.

\- Adam, please… 

Aaron said in his most calm and confident voice. Adam was too angry at Robert’s to even stay any longer in there. He slammed the door shut, letting an “I don’t believe this” escape his lips.

Robert, looking at Aaron's feet, he felt the need to apologize.

\- I’m sorry Aaron, I really didn’t want you to fall out with Adam because of me. I just thought that we could have a chance to talk and he would never had seen me here with you.

\- Robert...  
Aaron, said his name like he had said it millions of times before, not pronouncing every letter, like he already had been accustomed to the sound of it. Aaron stepped forward to meet Robert and placed his hand on his shoulder.

-... I want us to be honest. And today you showed me that you can. If we are ever to be together there cannot be any more secrets, no more lies or false pretenses. If we are going to do this I want us to trust each other.

Robert met Aaron’s eyes once again and they were now at peace.Robert grabbed Aaron hand, the one on his shoulder and guided it i front of them, placing his own around it.

\- I won’t make any promises… But it’s want I want for us too.

Robert pulled Aaron into a hug. This time not because one needed it more than the other, but because they both needed it equally. Robert’s surrounded Aaron’s shoulder with his arms, making Aaron rest his head in his chest and Robert place his chin on Aaron’s head. 

\- I can't believe you made me say all those things. - Robert said grinning nervously with relief.

\- I can’t believe you made me pull it out of you. - Aaron said, glancing up over to Robert’s.

\- So are we really going to do this? - Robert asked, cupping Aaron’s face with his hands.

\- I you want to. - Aaron said hoping for a final confirmation.

\- No. If WE want to.

Those were the right words for Robert to say.


	3. Starting over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the conversation at the scrapyard, Robert and Aaron decide to go for a drink together.

On the way to the to the pub the boys walked silently with their hands in their pockets, trying to keep the distance to minimum between them but making sure it wouldn't be too obvious.  
Occasionally there were some accidental rubbing of the shoulders disguised as stumble in the rubble or sudden fake change in direction.

\- We really need to get the handle of these kinds of things. 

Robert said stopping at the pub entrance sinking his hands deeper in his pockets.

\- What you mean? - Aaron asked confused by the remark.

\- This. The walking around together. I’m not sure what is the best way to do it as… you know… boyfriends. If we are even calling that yet. I don't want to have to overthink every time I feel the need to be with you or close to you. And all the public display is something I'm not sure how to handle it… Sorry… I guess I'm getting ahead of things… 

Robert stood in front of Aaron trying to find the best way to say goodbye for now.

\- Well I guess I'll see you later or whenever…

\- I reckon we could go inside in for a pint together. - Aaron invited trying not to show too much of the grin in his face.

\- Are you sure? With Adam in there waiting for you? Not sure that is a good idea… 

\- No. I want to. - Aaron said stepping closer to Robert - We'll have to get a handle on this, sometime.

Aaron led the way and Robert followed him still insecure of what to expect inside.

Adam was sitting in the corner table with a pint in front of him when he saw the boys enter the pub. Robert looked around the room and apart from Chas and Victoria behind the bar, the pub was pretty deserted. Aaron glanced back at Robert with an encouraging look and walked across the pub to where Adam was sitting.  
Chas and Victoria looks followed both boys on their way to the table and Robert tried not to cross eyesight with them.

\- Seriously? - Adam asked aggressively leaning forward in the table towards Aaron keeping his eyes on Robert.

Aaron ignored Adam and smiled casually at his mum when she approached the table.

\- A pint, mum. Wait... make it 2. You one don't you? - Aaron asked Robert without waiting for an actual response. Robert nodded and took the seat next to Aaron.

\- Are you going to have something to eat with that or just drink it awkwardly together while we pretend we don't know what is going on here? - Chas asked with her sarcastic smile.

Robert prepared himself to get up and leave not to be bothered, but Aaron placed his hand in Robert’s leg under the table signaling him to stay and replied to his mum with his cheeky mocking smile.

\- Well, if you insist, I guess we’ll have the menu to see what’s good today. Or is Vic not in the mood to cook for her hubby today?

Chas left the table to get the pints regretting the day she encouraged Aaron to invite Robert for a drink to get his mind of the trial.

\- So… Have you been able to get through the morning without me? - Aaron returned to Adam making sure Chas heard him across the bar.

\- Sure. I had a lovely time doing absolutely nothing, thanks to you two keeping me out the yard all morning. - Adam replied also ensuring Chas would hear him.

Aaron laughed shaking his head while Robert sat in silence trying not to look directly at anyone.

Chas brought the drinks and stood over the table. Aaron took his glass and turned to Robert and signaled him to pick up his beer and cheer with him loudly.

\- Any thoughts on what to eat yet? Or this little act is not enough to fill your mouth. - Chas said while rolling his eyes keeping her sarcastic smile?

Aaron resisted the temptation to follow through with the banter for a few seconds, but continued once he saw how Robert was embarrassed by the scene.

\- Well, mum - Aaron said pronouncing the words slowly - next time you encourage me to take this guy for a drink, don't act surprise if I do. - Aaron said rubbing Robert's shoulder finishing the sentence with his cheeky smile looking defiantly at her. 

Chas, stormed out to the back mumbling words between her teeth leaving the boys alone. Robert looked confused at Aaron glancing back and forward at Chas while she left.

\- Well, it has been fun, but I guess I'll skip dinner... this being a date and all. - Adam said gulping the rest of his beer, leaving the boys side by side on the table.

\- So, what will it be then? - Vic said approaching the table.

\- Why don't you surprise us, Vic? - Robert said speaking for the first time since entering the pub.

\- Okay, okay. But don't want to hear anything about you not liking it after. - Vic shot back while going through the back.

The boys sat uncomfortably in the table side by side for a few minutes while the pub door opened to let Paddy enter the pub.

\- Chas…? - Paddy asked when she appeared being the bar. - uhm, what's going on there?

\- Don't ask. - Chas mumbled grabbing a glass. - Pint?

\- Yeah, sure. - Paddy agreed confused looking at Aaron and Robert.

\- How are you doing , boys? - Paddy shouted across the bar starring for a reaction.

Aaron and Robert looked back at Paddy nodding in silent, ignoring the question.

Robert slipped through the other side of the table dragging his pint across the table, while whispering at Aaron.

\- What was that about taking me for a drink? Did she really said that? - Robert asked leaning forward with a surprised smile.

\- Let's just leave at that for now, okay? - Aaron picked up his beer and took a sip of it.

R.  
\- So. Is this how it’s gonna be for now on? 

A.  
\- Like what?

R.  
\- I don't know... Like nothing is going on here. We can't just start casually having meals together. People are gonna start talking.

A.  
\- Let them. Isn't what ordinary people to anyway? We're just having a meal.

R.   
\- You mean ordinary couples. That's what people will say.

A.  
\- Are you having second thoughts about this already?

R.  
\- No, I didn't mean it like that. 

A.   
\- Look, it's not like we're gonna start holding hands in public. You know I don't do that.

R.  
\- No, actually I don't. And like I said outside, I don't want to over think it whenever I feel the need to be close to you.

A.  
\- Let's just forget all that for now and just be two mates having a pint and dinner together. We see where it gets to.

R.  
\- And if it gets us to something else? - Robert teased Aaron pushing his hand across the table to meet his.

Aaron flinched at Robert's approach and shout his name in a whisper while looking at the bar at Chas and Paddy that were staring at them like they were watching a movie.

R.  
\- I love when you say my name like that.

Aaron smiled and his cheeks began to turn red. He tried to hide it by drinking another sip of his beer.

A.  
\- Stop! You're pushing it.

R.  
Okay, okay. - Robert leaned back in his seat smiling at Aaron taking his beer for a drink.

Aaron grinned biting his bottom lip, gazing in complicity.

R.  
\- I guess I'm starting to enjoy this already. Just to see the look on their faces…

A.  
\- Don't get ahead of yourself. We're just having a meal. You don't think I'm that easy?

R.   
\- No, I don't. I know you're not. But I'm not sure they do. I guess they'll be freaking out in a minute or so.

A.  
\- Imagine when you'll be calling me your boyfriend and holding hands everywhere…

R.  
\- So it will definitely happen?

A.   
\- Well, not the holding hands part. - Aaron bit his lip again.

R.   
\- And the boyfriend part? - Robert smiled provocatively.

A.  
\- Jury is not out on that one yet.


	4. I just want to be alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is me trying to fill some of the gaps after robron reunion kiss before the verdict for Aaron abuse comes out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The scene picks up from the kiss in the back of the Woolpack

A.

\- I know. - Aaron's voice interrupted Robert, whispering his vow of faith in Roberts intention.

 

Robert’s eyes searched for Aaron's lips and without hesitation he cupped Aaron’s face with his hands for a kiss feeling Aaron's soft lips against his and his rough beard against his skin. Aaron squeezed Robert's leather jacket in his hands and for a fraction of a second their foreheads kept touching in search of comfort. Robert sighed in relief pushing Aaron against his body to a hug, burying his face in the neck of the man he loved. Robert closed his eyes in satisfaction and Aaron rested his head on Robert's shoulder with a glow of bliss in his eyes and a candid smile. He closed his eyes and his face searched for the warmth comfort of Robert's peaceful presence not wanting to let go.

 

The hug lasted a few seconds, but for Aaron it felt like the months of separation had been concentrated in those few seconds and he could feel the warmth of the man he loved again. Robert reluctantly parted from Aaron comfort hug and leaned his forehead against Aaron's.

 

\- Right. I should be going…. Will you be okay?

 

\- Yeah - Aaron let out with a deep sigh.

 

Chas, stormed into the room and the boys jumped apart in an instinctive reaction, just like before, when they were not supposed to be seen together. Before it all came out.

 

\- Don't mind me, boys! - Chas said with her sarcastic smile.

 

The boys awkwardly looked at each other trying to fake their faint smiles. Aaron shoved his hands in his pockets looking like he had done something wrong and would feel protected with his hand out off sight-

 

R.

\- Well, I see you tomorrow.

Robert headed to the door Aaron touching his arm as his sign for goodbye.

 

A.

Yeah, see you.

 

The boys didn't exactly knew how to say goodbye in front of Chas, so they awkwardly exchanges looks and Robert headed to the back door.

 

A.

\- Robert… Thanks. Again. - Aaron said wanting one last look at Robert before he left.

 

R.

\- I'm here for you, whenever you need. 

 

A.

\- I know.

 

Chas wasted no time to rush to her son to give him a hug.

 

C.

\- Come here! Everything will be fine tomorrow. Don’t you worry!

...

In other news, looks like you two are getting along… Not sure what to say about that!

 

A

\- Mum, not now.

 

C.

\- I’m not saying anything! I know he’s done good by you, Aaron. I just want you to be happy, and i hope he can keep it that way.

 

A.

I’m off to bed.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------

 

Aaron laid on his bed looking up trying to ignore the day ahead. The feeling of uncertainty regarding the verdict was starting to vanish his hopes of Gordon paying what what he had done to him.

 

The phone on his nightstand vibrated signaling a message from Robert. They hadn't talked or exchanged messages since last night. Robert was trying not to push Aaron, just like he asked.

 

_ Good Morning. Meet me at David's in 20.  _

 

Aaron let out a faint smile. It wasn't a request, and Aaron liked the fact that Robert wasn't even doubting he would.

 

Aaron rushed out of bed and got downstairs still fearing the call with the message they had reached a verdict. He exchanged words with Chas and Cain and left even more convinced Gordon would get away with everything.

 

Entering David's it was clear everyone was talking about him. After some exchange of  words and Adam realising that they were together, Aaron couldn't stand being the center of the village gossip and looked at Robert looking for peace in Robert presence.

Robert pick up on that and without hesitation asked the coffees to go and exited the shop and started to walk with no particular destination.

  
  


A.

\- Thanks. I couldn't bare a moment longer in there. Even people around the village are doubting me, how will a jury of strangers believe me?

 

R

\- Aaron. All it matters is that you know what happened... and the people who love you. And you confronting him and telling the true was brave enough. No one can ever take that away from you.

 

A.

\- Yeah, but i can’t stand all these looks and “Good Luck today” from everyone. I just want to get it over with.

 

R.

\- It will be over soon. And Gordon won’t get away with it.

 

A.

\- Can we just stop talking about it. I don’t want to think about that right now..

 

R.

\- So.. what you wanna do? Scrapyad? Pub?

 

A.

\- No. I just want to be alone.

 

R.

\- Right… So you want me to leave? Well, i won’t. Not today.

 

A.

\- I didn’t mean that…. - Aaron stopped in the middle of the road and looked at Robert.

Can we go back to yours?

 

R.

\- What you mean? To Vic’s?

 

A.

\- Yeah, if you don’t mind.

 

Aaron said shrugging his shoulders. He just wanted to be left alone without the judging looks of everyone in the Village. HE wanted to be able to get by today’s without overthinking of the results for the trial and the judging looks of everyone in the Village.He needed to be alone with Robert to find some peace of mind. He was ashamed to admit to Robert he just needed him to be there for him, that he missed those days when it was just the two of them without anyone around. He would never say to Robert that he missed when they just kissed and Robert would play with the hair in the back of his neck and look deep in his blue eyes. That would make him forget about today.

 

R.

\- No. If that’s what you want.

 

The boys walked silently to Vic’s house and as soon the doors closed behind them.

 

R.

\- Aaron... we don’t have to… if your’re not ready. It’s okay. 

 

A.

\- I know. 

 

Aaron walked around the place and sat in the sofa with his hand in his knees. Robert knew Aaron was not coping well with last days events, and with verdict so close he could see Aaron was scared.

 

R.

\- You want a brew or something? - Robert politely offered already knowing the answer would be “No”.

 

A.

\- No. I’m fine

 

R.

\- Are you? Really? You know you can talk to me about anything.

 

Robert, rushed to Aaron's side in the sofa and sat beside him with his hand in his back. Aaron felt Robert’s touch like a soothing and warm comforter and closed his eyes. 

 

A.

\- I don’t want to talk. I just want to be here. With you. Is that okay? - Aaron’s eyes looked like they would burst into tears at any second. 

I’m not going anywhere. It’s not like I have better things to do.

 

Robert smiled trying to calm Aaron panic down.

  
  


R.

\- Come here! - Robert placed his arm around Aarons shoulder and pushed him gently back into the sofa, placing his head over Aarons. Aaron grabbed Robert hand and locked his fingers in his. Aaron felt like everything was now out of his mind, the trial, the judging looks, the fake smiles and he could forget about it all for an instant.

Robert kissed his forehead and Aaron closed his eyes to make the moment last longer. His fingers wandered playing with the hair in the back of Aaron’s head just like he remembered.

 

There was no need for words between them but Robert’s mind kept trying to find the right word to say. Before he could say anything, Aaron interrupted him.

 

A.

\- Thanks, for being here.

R

\- You don’t have to keep saying thanks.

A

\- And you don’t have to say anything everytime I say it. I just need you to know.

 

Robert almost felt the need to say something back but stopped himself. He just smiled and looked in Aaron's eyes. They felt calmer now. And he also felt at peace seeing Aaron looked happy. After what felt only like seconds but actually turned to an hour, the boys realise they should get back to the pub in case the court ring.

 

A.

\- I guess we should get going back.Vic and Adam might be back any minute now.

 

R.

\- Worried that they see us like this?

 

A.

No!... Well, kinda. Not sure if I’ll be able to handle Vic going on about us.

 

R.

\- Yeah. I guess. But you know she was the only one that kept pushing me towards you. Even when i wasn’t sure if it was what i wanted.

 

A.

\- So you’re saying you needed pushing?

 

R.

\- I’m saying that she was the one who helped see what i wanted, even if i couldn’t see it for myself. 

 

A.

So i guess she’s forgiven, then.

 

R.

I won’t go that far.

 

Aaron got up to leave but Robert looked at him still sitting in the couch.

 

R.

What? Not even a kiss?

 

A.

Yeah. Right!

 

R.

You know I won't’ leave until i get one.

 

A.

Are you being serious? 

 

R.

I reckon i deserve one.

 

A.

Fine

 

Aaron leaned over Robert without sitting and rushed a quick kiss in Robert’s lips.

 

R

Is that it? That was terrible.

 

A.

You never complained about it before.

 

R.

Well, I am now!

 

Robert grabbed Aaron’s hand and pushed him down back onto the sofa, cupped his face and passionately kissed Aaron. First Aaron was stunned by Robert unexpected gesture, but soon let himself go and returned Robert’s kiss feeling every touch of Robert’s soft lips against his.

R.

Much better.

  
Aaron just smiled, only looking deep in Robert’s eyes. If there was any doubt that he loved that man, it they were gone in that moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After this Arron and Robert get to the pub and Aaron receives the verdict call.


End file.
